5 Everyday Annoyances( That Are About To Go Away Forever)

September 23, 2017

World hunger, genocide, global warming … these are all problems you don’t give a shit about while you’re cursing an unjust god, circling the block trying to find a parking place on street cleaning day. But there’s good news for you: Technology is here to fix piddling aggravations like that. And once we solve all life’s tiny problems, we’re sure to get around to the big ones. Right?

5

You No Longer Have To Walk To Your Car

The whole phase of having a automobile is that you don’t have to use your stupid, terrible leg to move around. Why, then, do we accept that drivers have to walk both to and from their parking spaces? Since the sunrise of the automotive age, automobiles have absence the necessary sensors and information-processing power to come when called. But recent technological breakthroughs have finally given our top-of-the-line vehicles the intelligence of a dumb pony 😛 TAGEND

Tesla has “summon car” as a default feature on all its new models. True to their brand, they are catering to customers who would rather expend $70,000 than stroll 70 feet. Users simply press a button on the key fob, and their automobile comes creeping toward them like a shameful puppy. Of course, the feature is currently limited to a 40 -foot range, and vehicles seem to only move forward or backward( no turns ), but Tesla’s engineers are hard at work on AI that can improve on this. But then, according to Tesla CEO Elon Musk, continuing AI research will eventually be the end of all humanity. Presumably there will be a brief window between now and then that’ll be pretty cool, though.

4

You’ll Never Step In Another Puddle Again

Until the day we totally ruin this planet, water will fall from the sky. So for the next three or four years, it seems we’re stuck living with stupid puddles. Or … are we?

Concrete engineers have developed a porous substance called Topmix Permeable, which can support heavy traffic, yet contains tiny holes that allow water to pass right through it. You can dump hundreds of thousands of gallons on a tiny patch of sidewalk, and it will all soak into the pavement in less than 60 seconds, leaving not even the smallest puddle.

It’ll also help with flooding and water conservation endeavours. Heavy rains that normally overwhelm drainage systems can easily be handled when all of the roads, parking lots, and sidewalks can help out. Standing water is also a breeding ground for illness that ravage communities in poorer parts of the world, so Topmix Permeable( TP for short, gotta work on that name) helps with that, too.

But perhaps most importantly, if your city installs this concrete, you will never have to step in a puddle again.

3

Potholes Will Be A Thing Of The Past

Potholes: the herpes of the transit system. They’re unsightly, they keep coming back, and there’s no good way to treat them. It can take a six-man crew an entire day to pour the necessary asphalt and pressure-roll it into place. And those patches don’t even last. They leave seams between the original road and the new asphalt, so water and ice can get under the repair, recreating the pothole not long after it’s been patched. That entails the same six-man crew will have to do the same thing in the same place in a matter of weeks. But what can we do? We’ve got to patch those dangerous holes, and any patch we use is going to leave seams.

And then some maybe evil genius came up with a simple notion: Why don’t we melt the roads?

A company in New Hampshire is already outfitting their trucks with powerful heaters that let two-man repair crews literally melt a road back together, leaving no seam between the old asphalt and the new. In addition to being both more effective and cheaper, the infrared patch also has a lower carbon footprint, and merely takes about 15 minutes to apply. That means you can harness the power of heat to repair molten stone in less period than it takes to watch a reality reveal contestant say yes to a dress.

2

No More Waiting In Line At The Grocery Store

Waiting in line at the grocery store is the worst. That’s valuable period you could be spending at home, ignoring your family. But like the Spartan at Thermopylae, cashiers are outnumbered a hundred to one. There’s always going to be a bottleneck when it comes time to check out. Unless you understand two things: how much people hate minor inconveniences, and how little they value their privacy. Amazon understands the hell out of those two things .

So they’ve opened a chain of meat-space grocery store called Amazon Go, where customers never have to wait in line. All you need to do is open an account and check in on their app while entering the store, then grab whatever you want and simply leave when you’re finished. Amazon tracks whatever you take and bills your accounts automatically.

Yes, use merely the power of object tracking and utterly all of your personal data , Amazon has done away with the five-minute wait at the grocery store.

1

Never Again Will You Suffer From Wetbutt

If you’ve ever sat on a park bench after a fresh rain, you know the impression: wetbutt. Designer Sung Woo Park knows that ache, and rather than swearing until he ran out of breath, as is the traditional response, he opted to do anything about it. Insure, merely the top of a bench gets wet, while the underside is largely clean and dry. All we’d need to do is switch the two out, and voila! We now have butts as dry and merciless as the Mojave.

What, you wouldn’t describe your own butt as “merciless”? Give yourself some credit.

But how? How could we maybe flip a whole bench upside-down ? What are we, modestly in shape? Haha , no. That’s where the mighty power of the crank comes in.

Sung Woo Park

Sung Woo Park

Sung Woo Park
The next model has an audio notice to let you know when to stop cranking .

When you come across a wet bench, simply rotate the crank, spinning the seat until the landing pad for your ass is clean and dry. No tips yet for when the crank unavoidably becomes too disgusting to utilize, but we’re thinking the answer has got to be some sort of double-crank.

Saikat Bhowmik is a kid who has grown a beard to look like a grown-up. He has a Serious account at Twitter and an Amuzic( that’s not a spelling mistake) YouTube channel. Michael Battaglino is a new contributor to Cracked. Be sure to keep an eye out for his future work . Never again will you have to suffer the inconvenience of having to grind and sprinkle your* cough* “herbs”* cough *. If you loved this article and want more content like it, please support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page . Also check out 6 Things That Annoy You Every Day( Explained by Science ) and 22 Scientific Explanations That Can Make Life Less Annoying . Are in favour of our YouTube channel, and check out If Junk Food Commercials Were Honest, and watch other videos you won’t watch on the site !

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