5 Thinks You Have When You Return Home After Being Gone For A While
Real life was kicking my ass. Theres no other pretty style to put it.
Work sucked balls. My love life was a disaster. The chaos of the city was turning me into a jaded bitch. I was stuck in a vicious groove. I wasnt inspired about anything, and I only felt so behind on life.
But every time I tried to catch up, regroup and build things better, I simply couldnt. Sometimes Id weep about it, and other times I felt nothing( except hungover a lot, since cruising all the dive bars was the only way I didnt have to think about how shitty reality was ).
And things actually were shitty. So when I had my final quasi nervous breakdown, I decided to do something. I cease my job. I determined someone to sublet my apartment. And I moved home. To New Jersey.( Womp womp .)
But I actually was so excited. All would be taken care of at home. Free food. Bubble baths. Hugs from mommy. I could be with nature. Stroll barefoot in the grass. Visit my old stomping grounds. Read. Think. Breathe.
The change would be good.And it wouldnt bejust a weekend journey like it had been in the past. I would behome home .
But time passed, and days turned into weeks, andI began to realize some thingsabout being home .
1. I, like, truly, really, genuinely missed my mom.
It doesnt matter how old you are. Sometimes you just need to cry your eyes out and nuzzle with your mom( especially when life has been sucking lately ).
Shell listen to all your problems. Shell build you tea and grilled cheese. Shell give you beautiful advice. Shell take care of you like youre young again. And shell tell you everything in life happens for a reason and you will be all right.
And you will believe her. Because in that moment, feeling so safe and so loved, youll be able to get out of your head and realise( even if merely a little bit, kinda, sorta) you are really, very lucky. Not everybody is just go home when life gets weird. And heres your mommy telling you to stay as long as you need to get back on track with life.
2. Everyone from high school still lives here? And is marriage? With kids?* Drinks wine out of the bottle*
Like, everyone is married. It seems like everyoneyou knew from high schoolended up remaining, going to college nearby, datingsomeone who also lived here, got married to them here, resolved down here and now have two children here.
Its like theyre all hooked up to ankle monitors that will buzz every time they leave the town line. I want to holler at them: A whole world is right there! Youre brainwashed by mediocrity!
I just dont is how they chose to stay. And it seems like all they have to talk about is babies and so-and-sos newborn and the new Walgreens. Im even thinking about it.
3. Suburbia is boring AF.
Like what do people do here? Within the first three days of being home, Id already run out of my Yeah Im Psyched To Be Home! to-do listing like going to see Target and buy crap I dont need, eatSonic( cheeseburger with tots and a red slushie ), drinkcheap beer at my elementary school playground at night, go to the mall.
Like, seriously, what do people do here? Arent they going crazy without any new eateries or wine bars or concerts or art demonstrates or volume readings to go to?
Guess Ill go to the drive-thru Dairy Queen, stroll to the mailbox and pretend its workout and try to catch lightningbugs.
4. I took a lot for awarded when living here.
After living in the city for nearly seven years, there are many, many things you miss like crazy from home . Its everything youve taken for granted when living there the simplest, most asinine things.
Like your mothers garden with all the herbs. Your fathers wine. A refrigerator with food in it all the time. Bubble baths that you can actually take without having a roommate knock on the door. Stars. The sound of cicadas at night. Strolling barefoot on sidewalks. Thetally marks on the wall that maintained way of your height since you were 5.( See? Sentimental stuff isnt always #vomit .)
5. OK, Im ready to go back now. Like, genuinely, ready.
I guessed the moment would never arrive me missing my life. But it did. Arriving home was exactly what I needed to get my mind straight-out again, to relax, to exhale. There was so much love and quiet.
But eventually I was ready to go back to my life. I missed my independence. I missed my room( not the one I grew up in ). I missed the drunken debauchery with my friends( and not feelingso inadequate with all this married with kids bullshit everywhere ).
I merely missed everything I had detested when I decided to quit everything and go back home .
But thats home . As weird and boring as it can be sometimes, it kind ofsaved me from the mess I discovered myself in. Luckily, though, itll always be there just in case my life decides to suck again soon( or if Im just really craving Sonic ).