We experimented with Meowijuana, the ‘marijuana for cats’
Look, Im a realist. I know that it’s impossible to share a toke with my beautiful cats. But as a stoner, its something Ive always dream of doing. Theyre pretty chilled out by nature, so largely I just feign theyve joined me on an altered aircraft of consciousness.
But what if I neednt feign any longer? What if there were a productsay, catnipnot blandly packaged and sold in pet stores, but branded to appeal to stoners like me and available for buy online, that could afford me the opportunity to chemically commune with my pets?
Look no further, fellow feline-friendly pot fiends, for a product has shimmied its route into our cold, meaningless lives, sold exclusively in a little place calledMeowijuanaville 😛 TAGEND
Perusing Meowijuanas online retail presence, you have a few choices of catnip bud, as well as your picking of many accessories that allow you to flaunt your quirkies weed/ catnip consumerism. All the bud is packaged with labels featuring big green cross, meant to convey its hilarious faux benefits as a pharmaceutical narcotic. To assuage any doubts of the legality of such a buy, the fine folks at Meowijuana LLC also offer you the option of purchasing a Medical Meowijuana ID for $9.95, which you can file away in case the feds get wind of your cat drugs.
Because I was on a budget, I took the risk of merely purchasing the small jar of Purrple Passion strain catnip( sans ID card ), feeling very assured by its nine 5-star reviews that the herb would transport my cats into a reality beyond their comprehension.
When the package arrived, my catsPetey, my gray tabby and Cheddar, my orange tabbywere immediately intrigued.
A little background on my precious brutes: In general, I describe Petey as the pretty and sweet cat who give little to no substance of character, evidenced by her hollow, empty eyes. Shes not very bright, but shes cute. She also doesnt understand bounds or that her claws are sharp.
Cheddar, on the other hand, is much more human-like. He processes route more information about you than Petey does or ever will. He understands bounds and that his claws are sharp. For these reasons, hes my favorite( dont tell Petey ). I like to think that its his suffering through hardshipspecifically, asthmathat has informed his senseofbeing.
So I guess what followed post catnip-consumption wasnt exactly surprising, and I was proud that Petey finally detected her souls calling.
In short, Petey lost her goddamn mind. She couldnt get enough of this stuff. She rolled and pawed around, licking a bag filled with a couple of catnip bud( it didn’t take much !), chewing on it so aggressively that she released the bud in order to get them immediately into her mouth. She was consumed by a longing that held her and forced her body to and froshe needed that nip any route she could get it.
Cheddar had his fun, too. But this is the only compromising posture I caught him in during this extended catnip photo session 😀 TAG 12 TT
About 10 minutes later, he was over itas if possessing the knowledge of aprophet who knows the depths of lifes bounty and that catnip is only one of many avenues of accessand comprehend fit just to stand idly by while Peteyreveled in rapture for the next 45 minutes.
I repeated this experimentation a couple of times, dedicating Petey( the true connoisseur) the chance to choose between pet-store brand catnip and the branded-for-her-stoner-owner Meowijuana, and she always picked the latter, always losing all her shit.
Maybe certain strains of marijuana have a similar impact on people, but Ive never seen it. Catnip isnt weed for cats; its MDMA for cats. Or at least this cat who Ive already mentioned is basically an empty ship waiting to be filled with anything of substance. Perhaps it is only through this herb that Petey can fully express herselfcan finally fill herself up with something more than vacuity. With Meowijuana, she has detected her souls complement, she explored the deepest wells of her True Self.
Shes finally free.
So if, like me, you like to get high but lament the fact that your cats cant join you, consider dedicating them the opportunity to transform into the Dionysian starchild youve always wanted them to be by purr-chasing some Meowijuana. Theres no assure your cat will reach Peteys heights of rapture, but they have a decent chance. Besides, you can always just smoke the hoardlike the low-standards stoner you are. Photo viaStephen Kruso/ Flickr( CC BY SA 2.0 )