7 Wine And Face Mask Pairings To Do When You’re Stranded Inside

January 11, 2018

If you, like me, spent the last week getting fucked up ringing in the New Year in the same style you’d celebrate v important calendar dates such as the Kentucky Derby and Cinco de Mayo then, first of all, I praise you. Second of all, please tell me your scalp is as fucked up as mine is rn. I’m really just amazed that my skin only sabotages me every once in a while considering all of the shit I put it through on a daily basis. Watch, I like to do this thing where I “treat myself” sevenish days of the week–it’s sort of like playing Russian roulette with my scalp but instead of bullets it’s massive amounts of alcohol and pizza. I know, I’m a peach. ANYWAY, I am sure I’m not alone out there so because I’m feeling charitable and also because I’m already counting down the minutes until it’s 5pm and socially acceptable to open wine, here’s a list of the best alcohol and face mask pairings to get you started on your happy hour skin care journey.

1. Champagne+ Bubbles Mask

Get it? I’m pairing bubbles with bubbles? Okay , not super original SO SUE ME. But this will look v cute on Instagram and isn’t that really all we’re striving for here? Try E.L.F’s Hydrating Bubble Mask for a frothy face mask that’s more fun than a Snapchat filter and the committee is also nourishes the fuck out of your skin.

2. Cosmopolitan+ Detox Mask

This is for all my city girls out there who have to deal with garbage humans who literally shit on public transport( severely, I saw this happen once ). A detox mask is the perfect style to freshen your scalp after a long week of dealing with sociopaths on the metro, and we suggest employing Caudalie Instant Detox Mask in particular. The natural clay ingredients give your skin a deep cleanse while also leaving your face smooth and your complexion even. And before you start talking shit, I know no one drinks Cosmopolitans anymore because it’s not the year 2000, but I’m suggesting this pairing anyways because it seems v sad to induce yourself a vodka cran to Netflix and shivering … alone. Just saying.

3. Boxed Wine+ Peel Off Mask

I’m not sure who still drinks wine out of a box, but I’m assuming it’s the same person who buys their face masks from the sales segment at Walmart. I presume. Masque Bar Luminizing Charcoal Peel Off Mask is going to be your go-to mask. Both this mask and boxed wine are cheap AF but still v effective and will get the job done during desperate, desperate times.

4. Bordeaux+ Clay Mask

Bordeaux were legit constructed for drinking in a clay mask. They’re full-bodied and earthy just like the shit you’re putting on your face rn. This is the kind of shit person like, say, Hannah Baker would sip and savor and then scheme out how to be extra AF from beyond the grave( I presume ). Pair a clay mask, like Aveda Deep Cleansing Herbal Clay Masque, with any bordeaux. Any betch with combining scalp will feel blessed AF utilizing this mask because it describes out impurities from the scalp while also assimilating any excess petroleum. FML eternally it is not.

5. Wine Cooler+ Anti Aging Mask

It seemed fitting to pair something that’s supposed to reclaim your youth with a drink that no one above persons under the age of 19 drinkings. Drunk Elephant’s T.L.C. Sukari Baby Facial is perfect for any skin type and its main goal is to “minimize the appear of fine lines and wrinkles, refine pores, and boost overall clarity and radiance.” And a bonus is that you can now enjoy the wine cooler in the privacy rights of your own home instead of the local Wawa parking lot. Blessings.

6. Pinot Grigio+ Hydrating Mask

Pinot Grigio is basically like water, which is not a fact but only my personal opinion–it’s illuminate, refreshing, and I drink 8 glass of it a day. Hydrating masks, like Glossier’s Moisturizing Moon Mask, run perfectly with Pinot Grigio. Made of almond petroleum, hyaluronic acid, licorice root, lemon fruit, honey, and aloe–it’s divine served chilled( both the wine and the mask) and will freshen the fuck out of your face. But, like, I’ve also heard white wine will give you a skin disease so there’s actually conflicting info over here. Like can we get person on this please? GOP, can we stop trying to ruin the health system and instead focus on the more important issues at hand, like, is my Pinot Grigio safe ?? K, thx.

7. Tequila Shots+ The Trend Mask

I never advise taking tequila shots because no matter how many articles I read about tequila building your bones healthy or adding years to your life I’m convinced it’s all simply fake news. There’s no way that tequila, the same alcohol that my sorority sisters people do body shoots with and convinced me to get my belly button pierced at 20 years old on springtime violate, is actually good for you. That being said, you’re going to need all the shots when you try out any sort of trend mask that’s being pimped out hyped hard by teens on Instagram. Especially the Hanacure gel mask because this is the face that they are able to look back at you in the mirror and it is terrifying 😛 TAGEND

^^ actual footage of me looking at my reflection rn

But South Koreans did come up with this product so you know it’s some good shit. It pulls tightly on your scalp, totally warping your face until you look old as hell, but when you take off the mask it leaves your skin seeming 10 years younger by reducing wrinkles and your pore sizing.

Read more: www.betches.com

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