The Best Expensive Beauty Serums And Their Cheap Alternatives

November 12, 2017

Everytime I go into the broad interwebs, some other beauty blogger is telling me to smear oil or a fancy serum on my face. Look, I already have a strict scalp care regimen and am v afraid of breaking out, so the idea of patting on literal petroleum is a lil frightening.

However, I will admit that there are quite a few serums and petroleums out there that altogether work. The problem is that they’re weigh in at more than I care to afford( esp. when I need to spend money on important shit like Zara’s new Fall collection, mmkay ?). We’ve rounded up the pricey shit that people like Gwyneth Paltrow slides on her face( I assume when she isn’t steaming her snatch) and the cheaper alternatives that, SHOCKER, run just as well.

Pricey Shiiiiit: Rodin Olio Lusso

Described as “rich and deluxe, ” this serum made from what I presume are virtually extinct plants and animals will stimulate “youre feeling” extra if you use it. It helps with dry scalp and wrinkles, so you can looking 25 for another few years. The scariest part of this shit is that a TEENY TINY BOTTLE will define you back $170. This better fix my dry skin, help me fell 20 pounds, and cook dinner for me, too.

For Your Cheap Ass: Botanics Hydration Burst with Clary Sage Light Serum

If you need a serum to get your dry, crusty scalp to snap back into action, this shit it for you. It’s better for sensitive skin, too, than some of the heavier alternatives. The best part is the price tag–pick this shit up at Target for under $15.

Pricey Shiiiiit: de Mamiel Winter Facial Oil

For the low low price of $114, you can experience this “exquisite seasonal oil”–available four times a year–you know, for all the seaaaasons. The wintertime one has tons of essential oils, fruit and plant extracts, and all kinds of shit to “renew your spirit.” Like I said before, for that fucking cost, it better come with a fur coat made of something exotic and extinct.

For Your Inexpensive Ass: Clinique Acne Solutions Acne+ Line Correcting Serum

See, when you aren’t dishing out big bucks, you get products that straight-up call you out for having a few zits. Rude. However, at merely about $45, I’ll take that side of disgrace with my serum. This shit is oil free, but the serum made from salicylic acid and other awesome pimple-popping meds helps to not only combat your face’s bumps, but also wrinkles. Win.

Pricey Shiiiiit: Kypris Beauty Elixir I-1 000 Roses

Described as “magic” for dull, tired, and dry scalp, this shit has the “essential oil of 1000 organic and biodynamic Bulgarian roses.” I had no idea literally anything in Bulgaria was that valuable. Relax, I’m kidding. So with the expensive blooms also comes black raspberry and pomegranate seed extracts, antioxidants, and LOTS of vitamin C–which we all know is crack for your scalp. This luxurious shit is the most expensive on our listing at $225.

For Your Cheap Ass: John Master Organics Vitamin C Anti-Aging Face Serum

If you’re familiar with John Masters, you know he makes a mean sea salt spray for your hair( yaaaaas !). The natural beauty carries into this serum, which, with its tons of vitamin C and nourishing antioxidants, helps chill out the wrinkles that may be starting AND add some brightness. For $26, I’ll take what I can get.

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